The trap of praise

People use words and concepts they know to express themselves.
What we say speaks volumes about who we are.
It says very little about the person we are talking of.

It is generally easy to remember that when someone has said something mean. We can puff up and say, "That's not true. What they said just proves how foolish they are."
And that may or mat not be true.

What is true is what they said, whatever it was, reveals exactly who they are and how they think.

It is generally harder to remember this when someone says something flattering. We instantly want to agree. We want to believe that they are wise and right and wonderful. The trouble with that is, if you get hooked on the pleasure of believing the "nice" things people say about you, you are hooked on believing the things they say. That includes the "not-so-nice" ones too.

You can't believe in light if you don't believe in darkness.
No heads without a tail to go with it.

Neither are essentially true things about you.
Don't take it personally.
It is simply information. About them!

What is true about you, is what you say!

Technical note:
But what about if lots of people say the same things about you? Is it true then?
Nope.
It is worth considering that something you are doing is causing a number of people around you to react in a specific way. Notice that. Then you can decide whether you like that reaction or want to change it.

It is feedback about a behaviour. It is still not TRUE about you. YOU are not your behaviour.
Your behaviour is something you manage to create specific effects in the world.

Have a "noticing" day!
:) Karen